Clarity

Mari

Artist Statement

This was inspired by one of many conversations I have had with my grandma over the past year.

I spoke to her yesterday.

Her voice gravelly with disuse, a voice once infused with the memories of many lives lived

I asked her how she was

Silence

I asked her again

Silence

Then like a dam burst open 

She spoke

The words we would have exchanged in person spilled out of the phone 

I listened 

I couldn’t see her face; her eyes 

And she couldn’t see mine

She couldn’t see me wince, with every ask of when we would visit again

When we could visit again

This period of darkness has been more illuminating than the light

It casts shadows that spotlight the plague that is 

Loneliness

And all I could do, hearing the loneliness, the desperation take over her voice, was

Listen 

Listen and truly hear everything I wasn’t able to hear in person

I listened harder than I ever have, as if the fervor with which I paid attention would make up for the kilometers that separated us

Her in her home 

Me in my own

I stoked the flames of conversation with my own questions 

Until her voice was again filled with light and life; until her voice rang clear, reflecting the emotion I might have seen on her face

Is this the power of letting another speak and listening in earnest?

Did it truly have the power to keep the loneliness at bay and foster the connectedness that I had taken for granted when face-to-face?

It did 

But did I always listen this earnestly when face-to-face?

No, I did not 

But I should 

If this were the antidote to loneliness and if I had the power to help, then I must

And with this clarity, I gained far more from this encounter than she did

And with this clarity I go on