painting(s)
Grace Xu, 2T3 MAM
Artist statement:
I’ve always liked painting. Ever since my parents put me in art classes years ago, I have found a safe haven in the studio, spending a few hours a week staring at vases of flowers, trying to flatten them from their three dimensions into two. I was never naturally talented at painting, and oddly enough, the lack of expectation freed myself from feeling self-conscious about my work. I never felt the need to be the best painter or artist by a mile, so art classes became a refreshing break from a childhood defined by the pursuit for excellence and success.
I hadn’t painted for years after leaving my childhood home—until the pandemic hit. Now, with vast swaths of time on my hands, I still feel the urgency and need from childhood to be productive, but with more self-awareness in seeking healthier ways to channel that energy into projects that don’t require expectations. That’s how I came back to painting.
It’s funny to think that painting is one of the oldest forms of expression. 20,000 years ago, cavemen were already painting animals in France, memorializing and honouring an essential part of their livelihood by preserving these animals onto rock walls. To me, painting is a ritualistic form of commemoration, of making things—not necessarily objects but perhaps feelings or thoughts that are important to us—permanent.
One of the most important lessons that I’ve learned this year is that painting isn’t predicated on looking inward. I feel more connected with loved ones, with the community around me, through art. Painting has become the activity of fun Friday nights with my roommate, a way to destress from the week before us. Paint night Zoom calls have been a way I can feel close to friends that I can no longer see in person. And when I feel a creative block, I return to painting things for my friends, as there is no greater inspiration than the admiration for those around you. I joke about how much art I’ve gifted over the holidays (and continue to gift), but to me, painting is the best way that I can eternalize a small fraction of the infinite and intangible love I have for those who have nurtured and upheld me onto a definitively finite and tangible canvas.
