As I Lose the Metaphore

Hadeel Alhadi, 2T6 Fitz

Instagram: @Hadeel__alhadi

It’s a marathon 
A life-long journey 
It’s Sisyphus’ boulder, 
and you just reached the top of the hill. 

You are wearing your stethoscope 
It’s more than just a tool 
It’s a reminder to listen 
It’s the key to your patient’s story. 

You are in your first anatomy lab 
Save every remnant 
Respect the body 
You may struggle 
You may faint 
But, remember, 
this is your calling. 

You are on your tenth learner’s wellness workshop
You learn to practice self-care 
You learn to fight burnout 
The most valuable asset is you. 

You are in another ethics lecture 
You are learning to be an advocate 
You are learning about marginalization, 
about underserved communities, 
about determinants of health 
And, from a slideshow, you are learning 
how you can change that. 

It’s a Tuesday afternoon 
You are in your first Health in Community tutorial
You are not sure what to expect 
Maybe another guest speaker, or group project 
But it’s not 
You are sitting around a table watching a house call
A patient’s home 
The screen is shielding you
Observing from afar 
But the suffering, 
it’s too deep 
too radiating 
An entire world within arm's reach
A dead son 
A medication she cannot afford 
An expense that could have been eliminated
An infection that could have been cleared 
A pain that could have been mitigated 
But instructions got lost along the way
Death changes everything 

I sit there in my discomfort 
A helpless learner fighting my tears
This is not my story 

As the doctor gets in the car and drives away
As the screen turns black 
As the noise in the room resurrects
As the tutor asks us to reflect 
I lose the metaphor 
I decentre myself 
I think of Sarah. 
I think of Maryam.