Behind the Organ in the Box

Lina Elfaki, 2T3 WB

Artist's Statement: Being involved in a transplant is a unique emotional experience. While the donor's family is grieving their loss, the recipient and their family are celebrating a second chance at life. This is a reflective piece written about my first experience as a medical student on an organ procurement trip. While I was naively excited to learn about the surgical considerations, the "learning experience" went way beyond the technical skills.

Twitter: @lina_elfaki

Who They Were Before They Became an Organ in a Box

Her hair is braided, and her nails are green. Did she brush her hair before doing it or did her family prepare her for this big day?

Does she know?
Does she know that there is a medical student in the room? That this is supposed to be a “teaching opportunity?” They will let me be first assist and open the chest, only if I can blink back my tears and focus my thoughts on the medicine. But I keep wondering.

Who prescribed those pills? They said she is otherwise healthy. But how can she be healthy? What does “healthy” even mean? Sure, her arterial blood gases and liver function tests were normal but that can’t be all. Did her mental wellbeing betray her?

Why? Why did she have to do it now? What pushed her to end her life now? She is younger than me. How much has life hurt her? Who hurt her? Was it an abusive significant other or her loved ones disappointing her?

What did her life look like before? Who were her friends? Who did she consider family? What did her room look like? What if we had crossed paths? Would I have been able to anticipate this and help her see through the darkness?

All I know is she cares for people. That’s why her heart will live with Mr. G.

He will get to teach his classes without huffing and puffing. He will pick up his daughters and spin them around. Maybe that will give her the peace she needed. Maybe her heart will feel this joy.