a tree for every day i loved you from afar
Golsa Shafa , 2T3 PB
Artist statement:
COVID-19 had me longing for a sense of normality. And with seeing loved ones go through losses due to COVID-19, I thought about a bittersweet love story. I was hoping I could look at how this pandemic has changed our lives with a rosy, yet environmental lens.
On March 12, they were planning to go on their first date. Butterflies were already flying in her stomach. She had met him a few days ago when he hastily grabbed her coffee by mistake. They exchanged numbers. She couldn’t believe someone would ever be interested in her, in the most organic way, in the age of dating apps. She had never had any success with those.
On March 12, they talked on the phone instead. Mostly about the pandemic and how long the quarantine would last. They spent hours planning their first date once the quarantine was over. He suggested they go on a picnic in a picturesque park, given that she is an environmental scientist. She teasingly said “I’m more of a hiking gal than a picnic gal. I like to go on long walks on nice trails, look at every single tree on my path and appreciate their presence.” He was intrigued.
What’s so special about the trees? I’m asking for the opinion of the most beautiful environmentalist in all the environments I’ve been in.
Well … inhaling the oxygen they send my way, in close proximity to them reminds me I’m alive. They sort of get blurred in the city behind the high rises and the sensory pollution.
Oh, so like, a reminder of life sort of thing? You are here to breath and forget about your urban worries. I get it.
No offence, I don’t think you fully get the picture, not just you. But everyone.
How so?
I blame not taking care of trees on us doing a virtual date right now. It’s a date, right?
He laughed and said, how did the trees get involved in this nasty pandemic?
Trees are remnants of the past, reminders for the present and a glimpse into the future. They transcend time and space and make a show of the cycle of life. There’s been studies that show the connection between humans cutting down trees resulting in diminished biodiversity and ultimately new disease outbreaks.
From March 12 to April 12, they kept talking on the phone. Both were lone wolves in their mid 50s, almost used to the comfort and uncertainty brought on by solitude. But for some reason, they wanted to be there for each other, when they couldn’t physically be.
On April 13, she did not pick up her phone, nor did she answer the text he had sent. The first thought that occurred to him was maybe she is ghosting me. But … she certainly wasn’t that type. She seemed different from the moment he looked into her emerald eyes.
On April 14, she texted him back. At first, he was relieved. But as he kept reading the rest of the long paragraph, he’s breathing got faster. Subconsciously synchronizing his breaths with hers. She was suffering from shortness of breath, fever and was admitted to the hospital for COVID-19. She ended her text with:
… talking to you is the only thing I would want right now. But I just don’t have the breath it takes to talk, not even to God. I will fight this virus with every ounce of strength in my body to see you again, in a place full of trees. I’m longing for the O2 they make. And it’s not fair, that I’m kissing the oxygen mask instead of your lips.
On April 15, he called his local parks department and asked them if he could volunteer to plant trees on public lands that they saw fit. He had made a promise to her:
I will plant a tree, every single day, until you come out of the hospital. On your first day out, I will take you on a date to the land I’m rejuvenating for you.
She texted back:
It’s a huge promise! But I have no doubt you’ll not only win mother earth’s heart by doing this, but also mine. You couldn’t have shown your affection more beautifully. You taking my coffee, was the best thing that happened to me.
On April 18, after jumping a few hurdles and doing his research, he planted the first tree. He then posted a snapshot of it on his Instagram. This was out of ordinary for him, after all the professional fashion photography he did for his work.
On April 20, her breathing became more laboured, hand-in-hand with his labour, on the now not so barren land. Little fragments of hope were rising from the ground. This whole thing had become a huge social media campaign. Followers were pouring and retweets spiraling. They gave her hope to keep breathing with the aid of her faithful companion, the ventilator.
On April 27, she was discharged, only to find out he was brought into the same hospital a few hours ago. How cruel fate can be sometimes. What would’ve changed if they could’ve seen each other at least for one day, before another potentially long hospitalization? He had called her about this, and this time, verbally confessed his love. She promised to pick up the tree planting project until the day he recovers.
On April 30, she was running out of breath digging the dirt and firmly planting the roots. She had flashbacks to her days on the COVID ward and she was out of breath. The trees weren’t of any help. A tightness in her chest radiated to her whole body, while his eyelids were becoming heavier than the trees he used to carry.
He had passed away from COVID complications. What was passed on, was the social media campaign for planting a tree and saving lives by saving mother earth. She realized the touch of life’s loathsome irony:
He did everything he could to help me breath, deeper and deeper, fall in love, deeper and deeper. And I will carry his legacy, just to avoid coming to the point where nature’s agony manifests in unwanted consequences. I’ll let the trees you planted for me breath for you forever and ever.
